Connecticut Real Estate Blog - Real Real Estate in CT

According to a survey of wedding consultants, 80% of the engaged couples in the United States have already set up house on their own and have most of the items customarily given as wedding gifts – flatware, dishes, linen and appliances. What many couples do not have but want is the actual home – one that has their name on the title.

If you are planning on getting married and want to buy a home shortly thereafter, you’re not alone. More than two-thirds of engaged or newlywed couples are renters who intend to buy a home within the first couple of years of marriage. Many of these buyers find their biggest hurdle to homeownership to be saving enough money for a down payment and closing costs.

The median home price in Connecticut is around $250,000. Ideally, buyers should have 20% of a home’s cost to put down as a down payment and another 2-4% to pay for closing costs. If you can’t put down 20%, there are alternative mortgage programs that allow you to put as little as 3% down or even zero down. The downside to putting less down is that you may have to pay private mortgage insurance or get a first and second loan, with the second loan usually having a higher and/or variable rate.

Saving for a home purchase is challenging. But with some planning before the wedding, you may be able to get your wedding guests to help contribute towards the purchase of your home.

Asking for Money the Right Way

While money has been a long accepted wedding gift around the world, etiquette in the United States, up until recently, has called for an actual gift instead of money. In response to changing attitudes, the increase in the average age of engaged couples and the fact that many engaged couples already live outside of their parents homes, more people prefer to give money and more couples prefer to receive it.

Asking for money as a wedding gift is perfectly acceptable now, as long as it’s done politely and guests are given a choice. Generally, it is not appropriate to include your preference for money (or even your registry information, according to etiquette) in your wedding invitation because it is considered presumptuous to expect your guests to bring a gift, although almost everyone does.

What is appropriate is to enlist your friends and family to help spread the word about your plans to buy a house. Train members of your family, close friends and wedding party to politely suggest to guests, if asked, that what you really would prefer is money to help you buy your first home. Most guests will talk to a member of the wedding party about your wedding or to ask about a gift registry. Your guests want to give you a gift you can use and will likely feel more comfortable giving you money if they know what it will be used for.

Also consider that some guests just won’t feel comfortable giving you money. To give those guests an alternative, set up a small gift registry of items you could use and tell your family to mention it as an option for your guests.

If you don’t think it’s worth it to ask for money in lieu of gifts, think again. According to the Association of Bridal Consultants, the average amount spent per wedding gift is $85 and the average couple receives 100 gifts. $8,500 won’t be enough for 20% down on a house, but it will cover 3% down on a $250,000 purchase price with a little left over for closing costs.